Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
