Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
