i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
