I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
