just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
