I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
