also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Two words: nipple clamps
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