Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize