What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
