Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
