I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Houston, we have a blender
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
