his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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