Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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