Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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