Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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