The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
