I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
