We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
