I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
It's shark week go big or go home
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
