I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
