I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
