I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
