For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
well you can't waste a boner
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
