Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
