We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Operation Purity has been aborted
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
