So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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