Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
