Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
is that a dick in a sweater?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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