Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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