hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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