i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
