I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
it's not cheating when I paid for it
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
