yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
