Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
