this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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