My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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