If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
