Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
