I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
