I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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