Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
