I just made out with a guy for $7.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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