pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize
