She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
