her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
