remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
