I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
