You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
