Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
