So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
my liver is dry heaving
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
